This months cupcake is a S'mores Cupcake.  I made for a friends surprise 30th Birthday Party.
                                                                       
                                                                       Yum!!!!

 This yummy little morsel of goodness is a chocolate cupcake with marshmallow frosting, garnished with shaved graham cracker and chocolate chunks.  You can wipe your drool now. Hehehehe!

Saying goodbye doesn't get any easier..

Yesterday I had to make a choice and say goodbye to a dear friend.  A four legged pal that has stuck by my side for nine years through the good and terrible times.  He never judged me..he went wherever I went..and always had time for me.  Nine years ago I got a phone call that a shelter an hour away had receive newborn kittens.  I jumped in the car and drove to pick out my new kitten.  While looking at the cute little balls of fur, I felt something on my shoulder.  It was a gray and white paw reaching out from a cage.  He wasn't a newborn kitty, but a little older..almost a year.  I knew right then, he had chosen me.  When they told me his story of being sent from home to home and to end up at a shelter..my heart broke.  I signed the adoption papers and I was  home bound with Hmmmmm?  what to name him?  Spiderman had just come out and I thought TOBY!!! like Tobey Maguire.  So that was it.  His name was Toby.  He was quite the handful.  At night he would stand on my nightstand while I slept ready to pounce like a cheetah..and them AHHhHhhhhh!!! He would dive into my long curly hair and get all tangled up.  What a way to wake up every morning! Except for the mornings my feet would be hanging out of the blankets and he thought it would be fun to play cliff hanger by latching his claw into my toe and hang like a monkey.  Um.. I'd rather he be tangled in my hair.  I did a lot of traveling in the next couple years. He was amazing during the long car rides from Boston to Florida and back again. He was my buddy. Fast forward to our first house.  He made himself right at home for five years. Then..."What is that black furry thing walking around my house?"  Toby meet Bella! They were best friends right away. Always looking out for each other.  That's why watching Bella kiss Toby on the head for  the last time was harder than anything.  Last week we started noticing Toby wasn't eating very much.  I brought him to the Doctors on Wednesday to be checked out.  We left waiting for the results and thinking we were going to have to start him on some new expensive food or pills. That wasn't the case.  Thursday morning the Doctor called me and told me Toby's kidneys had failed and it was very bad.  She said he had been putting up a front for me..trying to act like everything was ok and that he was a strong kitty.  She then told me it would be best to ease his pain and suffering by letting him go.  My head began to spin and my heart dropped.  Only four months ago to I had to say goodbye to my son after just meeting him, now I have to say goodbye to Toby.
After multiple opinions we decided that letting him go play with Aidan in heaven was the best thing we could do.  I guess God thought he needed a pet.  And Toby was the perfect one.  So on July 29th exactly four months after Aidan was born and flew to heaven, we let Toby join him.  It's very hard to look at the spot where his bowl was and see bare floor..or to wake up in the middle of the night while Mikey and Bella sleep in the bedroom, to an empty house. It's hard to come home, open the door carefully and look down to not see him waiting for me. It's hard to write this post on the computer by the window where Toby would sit with me.  He was there for me through so much.  I'll love him always..but I know his soft fur is keeping my Aidan warm and comforted in heaven.  I should be very happy today because it is Bella's first birthday.  I am very thankful for her and the many years and memories to come with her.  She has been looking for Toby in the house and I know she misses him too.  So 29 has been a rough year for me..the number alone makes me angry.. 3/29/11  7/29/11.  I never thought I'd say this..but.. 30 can't come fast enough. I hope that year will bring me some joy.  Only a month and a half left.

"I whip my....

....hair back....

...and forth!"

Ahhhhh....Summer Days!

I know he's dancing in the clouds.....

A year ago today I lost a friend.  He was hurting and decided to leave us.  I will always be upset with him for making that decision on his own, but I will miss him forever.  I will cherish always the many memories we made.

What makes a Mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes.
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a mother and
I know I heard him say,

A mother has a baby.
This we know is true.
But God, can you be a mother
when your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can, He replied
with confidence in His voice.
I give many women babies.
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime
and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this. God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say,

"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of life and love and fear.
My Mommy loved me, Oh so much,
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who had so much love for me,
I learned my lesson very quickly.
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy, Oh so much,
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
on her pillow's where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
'Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'"

So you see, my dear sweet one,
your children are okay.
Your babies are here in MY home
and this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with ME
until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home,
they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother—
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with ME one day,
and know you're the best one
(Author unknown )

)

The 4th of July!

We spent the 4th of July at my parents house barbequing by the pool with family.  As you can see Bella was more than ready to show off her patriotic spirit!

                      
 Cooling off in the pool on this hot Independence Day!

Dad, Aunti Sharon, Robert & Mikey. Mom, Kristina, Amanda, Vanessa & Nick.

 

                                                        

4th of July Trifle

No fourth of July is complete without fireworks!  After the cookout.  Aaron, Silva and the kids headed down to the lake with us to catch some pretty lights in the sky!  I have to say this was my favorite part of the day.

Mikey, aka Uncle Mike, aka "My Only Exception" <3

Jonah, Silva & Vanessa